soc.women

A relationship that is based on deception requires ever-greater
deception and violence
in order to sustain. Indeed it becomes a cancer upon the civilization,
and family life,
like community life, created in pursuance of such relationships become
juggernauts of
deception, corruption, violence and oppression. For the lie to
maintain, anything that
is a threat to it - that is, anything that is true, just as much as
anything different
- must be destroyed. And that means, genuine insight; genuine passion;
genuine love;
genuine kindness; and genuine justice and intellect, all are
hysterically attacked in
order that they not exist as frame for, and refutation by
counterexample of, the
deception that is the relationship and the social order created in its
pursuit. Which
deception becomes the essence of the arrangement, its ethics, its
commonsense, its
tradition, its values, and finally its character.

A relationship which is not based in love requires destruction of that
which can love
in order to maintain. The partner knows the other's essence is not
with him and wages
a war on her essence. Ever more paranoid, ever more controlling, ever
more vicious, and
ever more violent and destructive, the partner seeks an evisceration
of the essential
in the person in order that nothing threaten his lie. And then he
catches himself in a
double bind. If the person's essence in any way maintains he is still
not secure and
feels he must go futher and further to demolish it. And if the
person's essence is
gone, then so is the part of her that could possibly love him. In
either case, what
takes place is a downward spiral taking the people further into the
realm of complete
hideousness, which to maintain requires destruction of anything
genuine, anything
beautiful, anything loving and anything truthful. And the societies
form around these
toxic situations to destroy others' insight and passion and purity of
intent lest the
situation be seen for its true character - while forcing on everyone
the mental
habits of deceit, corruption, groupthink, hypocrisy and mental and
emotional violence.

Which means that everything good - freedom, love, beauty, heart, mind,
soul, and life
as such - demand seeing through such cancerous arrangements, whether
they be
relationships or communities, and their replacement with relationships
and arrangements
that are nourishing, loving, compassionate, and conducive to life.

And I hope more people have courage to do just this, for the sake of
all the above and
for the sake of the long-term benefit of humanity.


Ilya Shambat